Life is hard sometimes. There's no escaping that reality. It’s impossible to live well without encountering some level of struggle, and there are some seasons in our lives that are especially heartbreaking.
“Unhappiness” is the simplest word to describe when nothing is happening that uplifts your spirit.
When loss in quick succession happens, there are days when getting out of bed is the biggest accomplishment. This is the nature of struggle, but as the days turn into weeks, months, and then years, you learn to press forward. We learn that we are resilient. And we now hold a greater appreciation for what we have and the people who are still with us on the journey, especially those who sat quietly and struggled with us in those times.
Years later, we may realize we learned great lessons from agonizing times in our lives. We’ve learned how to cope with the hard times, the pain and disappointment, and above all, we’ve learned the vital importance of self-love and self-care if we embraced the lesson.
The truth is, everyone experiences unhappy circumstances on occasion, but there is a big difference between experiencing bouts of unhappiness and living a habitually unhappy life. That’s what chronically unhappy people do. It is know as perpetual self-neglect.
The key is ‘Sometimes it needs to be All About YOU.’ Resisting and ignoring your own feelings and emotions does not serve you. It leads to stress, illness, confusion, broken relationships, fits of anger and bouts of deep, dark depression. Anyone who has experienced any of the above knows that these states of mind are horrifically unhealthy… and when you’re in the habit of self-neglect, it’s near impossible to escape.
As I recently mentioned on the www.nocouchtherapy.com blog,
you have to admit, you have spent too much of your life trying to shrink yourself. Trying to become smaller. Quieter. Less sensitive. Less opinionated. Less needy. Less YOU. Because you felt broken, and you didn’t want to be too much or push people away. You wanted people to like you. You wanted to make a good impression. You wanted to be wanted. So you could feel complete.
For years, you sacrificed yourself for the sake of making other people happy. And for years, you suffered.
But you’re tired of suffering, and you’re done shrinking.
Right? I can’t hear you???? Good!
It’s not your job to change who you are in order to become someone else’s idea of worthwhile. You are worthwhile. Not because other people think you are, but because you are breathing your own air, and therefore you matter. Your thoughts matter. Your feelings matter.Your voice matters. And with or without anyone’s approval or permission, you must be who you are and live your truth. Even if it makes people turn their heads. Even if it makes them uncomfortable. Even if they choose to leave. And some of them will leave. Good.
You may have been broken down by adversity, but YOU are not broken. Don’t let others convince you otherwise.
Heal yourself by refusing to Shrink, Blink or Group Think.
Choose to take up a lot of space in your own life. Choose to give yourself permission to meet your own needs. Choose to honor your feelings and emotions. Choose to make self-care a top priority…