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TARGET ON YOUR BACK?

 

Some people think they have targets on their backs. Anything and everything is considered a direct assault on them. Beware, for they are toxic.

That may sound extreme, but it’s the truth. Let it sink in.

Toxic people limit their perspective to their own world and experiences. Self-indulged narcissists ignore opinions and commentary they receive from others. A lady I’ve known for many years comes across as either an expert or a victim. Pick one, it just depends the subject. What she thinks about you is irrelevant, you may be amazing or a dodo, every conversation is about her.

Taking things personally often leads to hurt, disappointment and sadness. In most cases it’s best to disregard what other people think of you. Be guided by your own instincts and wisdom, you know yourself better than they do.

Question: How would you respond in a social setting if something stressful occurs? Would you leap into action? Hold on, immediate action can be harmful. Would you get angry, or be sad? Hmm, signs of a hair-trigger temper or fragile ego.

Answer: If you reply without cautious acceptance you are taking things too personally. But you’re not alone. We all stumble on this one.

Some people are convinced that life itself is against them. The truth is, few things in life are personal. Things happen, or they don’t.

People dealing with emotional issues become defiant, rude, and thoughtless at times. They may be doing the best they can. Or they may not be aware of their issues. In any case, their behaviors shouldn’t be viewed as personal attacks. Instead accept them as non-personal encounters. Reply with a throwaway line or something light. Or don’t respond at all.

It’s impossible to control things people say and do to you. Just try not to be reduced by them. Free yourself; stay detached from other people’s behaviors. The way people treat you is their problem, how you react is yours.

 

In other words: don’t make your problem my problem.

 

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