“Something in the way she moves attracts me like no other lover. Something in the way she woos me.” The Beatles (Something)
“Falling in love with love is falling for make-believe. Falling in love with love is playing the fool.” Lorenz Hart/Richard Rodgers (Falling in Love With Love)
Wow, the Beatles and Rodgers and Hart looked at love differently. I suppose that’s because love changes over time. It does, you know, and the changes usually come about in middle-adulthood.
Complete love, as psychologists call it, involves passion, intimacy and
commitment. Both partners are unselfish, devoted to a romantic relationship.
But, as many have noted or experienced, achieving consummate love is similar to losing weight. Getting started is easy; sticking to it is harder.
Passion fades for many couples as they reach middle life. They find themselves in a marriage typified by companionate love. They are committed and intimate, but not passionate.
For some, the end of passion signals the end of the relationship. People enamored with passion fail to approach their relationships realistically. They think true love takes care of all conflicts and problems. Really?
Some partners never learn to communicate their concerns and needs. Disagreements may arise as a couple adjust to their new life and become better acquainted. Failure to work through speed bumps paves the way to separation and divorce. Sure, couples quarrel argue and spat, they are human, after all. But check the divorce rate: not enough are adept at resolving conflicts equitably.
Translation: Couples that don’t argue are either masterful communicators or hard of hearing.
What potential is there for a loving relationship to grow and prosper? Long‐term relationships share several factors. Both partners regard their relationship as a long‐term commitment. Both verbally and physically express their appreciation, admiration, and love for one another. Both offer emotional support and both consider the other their best friend––at home and in public. Their communication skills help them feel close, connected, and loved.
“Something in the way she knows. And all I have to do is think of her. Something in the things she shows me. Don’t want to leave her now. You know I believe and how